Vocaloid Crack Collection: Life in the House
by Two Sisters Write
Summary: Exactly as it says. A bunch of cracks collected into one Vocaloid drabble. Expect plenty of madness!
1. Chapter 1

Len kicked from underneath Rin, but she gave no indication of surrendering or getting off him. "Sis, seriously! Let me go! I don't wanna dress like a girl, even for a new shoot like that!"

She smirked and looked down at him, crossing her legs at the knee. "You always do it, so why not for me? Is it because of the pink lace?"

He stopped moving. She barely caught the soft sound of his sigh into the floor. "Something like that," he mumbled as his head rolled over, the skin of his now exposed cheek red from being pressed into the flooring, while the other was squished together in a pile of whitening flesh. "But, you always make me dress like a girl. Not that I don't like feeling a bit pretty from time to time, but today isn't that day! I know my puberty is over now, and I'm bound and determined to embrace my new masculinity like never before!"

Rin could have sworn that her brother had some brain cells left, but that ruined the notion that she had maintained for the last five years or more. "But you never had an issue with it before, so now I'm not leaving you with a choice. You got me accustomed to this, you know."

He shook his head and made a motion to push her off, giving him the stance of a push-up, but she was a bit too heavy. "Rin, you need to diet a little. You're so heavy I can't get up, you evil girl."

Her brows knit together and he could hear the crackling of angry fire behind her. "Len, did you just call me an evil fatty!?"

His eyes widened. He knew that he made a mistake. Could he fix it? He felt like the main character in an action/drama film. She leaped to her feet quickly and dashed down to the kitchen. His mind went to the worst. She would surely commit murder. Knowing this, he darted up and right after her, but halted at the sight before him. Standing in the kitchen over the trashcan, she dangled his beloved bananas. His dear babies that comforted him after a long day of exposure to her tortures.

"Rin, we can talk this out!"

"Take it back, or your darlings get tossed in the trash!"

He held his arms in front of him, hands opened, and he wiggled his fingers in an attempt to reach them. He didn't think, however, that he actually had to move to reach them. "They did no wrong! Spare them their lives while they're so young!"

She lowered her hand. "Apologize, now." Her eyes were half closed in formidable rage. He couldn't look away. What could he do? The lives of five innocents hung in the balance, and his pride was at stake. What mattered more? Sweet love, or his dearest pride?

"I-I'm sorry! You're not fat!"

Taking it for all it was worth, Rin tossed the bunch of yellow fruits to her rattled brother, who proceeded to cradle the bundle like a baby, stroking each fruit with a delicate finger. "It's okay my babies," he spoke in a hushed voice, hushing them himself from time to time. "It's okay...The evil lady is gone now. She won't harm you anymore."

A vein popped on the side of her head and she reached out, snatching the bunch. "Take it back!" she hissed threateningly.

He screamed. "Not Haru and her sisters! They love me, and I love them! Don't do this!"

Rin rolled her eyes. "You need help. Serious help."

Again, he cradled them like tender children. "I promise it's okay. Daddy will make it all better, he promises. She won't hurt you, that mean old lady. She just sounds like an evil snake."

What was the point? Rin sighed and turned on her heel, walking out into the living area. She had to burn the image of her brother cradling fruits from her head. How could he be so stupid?

Len, however, smiled and sat down at the table. He ripped one of the fruits from the bunch and kissed it. "I know this will hurt for a second, but remember that I always will love you." He spoke slowly and tenderly. As he began to peel the banana painfully slow, tears stung at his eyes and he finally began to sob as he took his first bite. Deliciously bitter-sweet.


	2. Bathroom break

Written by Ruby

* * *

"Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta go!" Len chanted as he ran down the hall from his bedroom. He had been awaken from his peaceful slumber by his screaming bladder that threatened to release itself on his bed if he didn't pee soon. He checked the alarm clock by his bed to see what time it was before he ran out to see which bathroom would be available.

Since it was nine in the morning that meant Miku, Kaito, and Rin would still be asleep. Luka and Meiko would have been up for an hour or two, so they should have used the bathroom by now, which meant two were free! Or so he thought until he crashed into someone. He fell to the ground, groaning as he did. "Ah, sorry, Len." Kaito said. He stuck his hand out for Len to take, which the blond did and allowed himself to be pulled up.

"It's fine." He grumbled. "Excuse me." He tried to step past him, but was stopped by Kaito blocking his way with his arm.

"No cutting, Len." He said smiling at him.

Len raised an eyebrow. He knew Kaito could be a little…dense (and that was putting it nicely) at times. It was expected. But saying Len was cutting some line that didn't exist was too strange even for him. "What are you talking about?"

Kaito lowered his arm so Len could see. Len looked around him and gasped. In front of them stood Miku, Luka, and Meiko. They stood there in their robes, holding their own towels and toothbrush. Why were they standing there? Why was Miku and Kaito even up?! "Why is there a line?" He shouted.

"Rin's been in the bathroom all morning." Miku informed him, yawning. "She has a date."

Len groaned. Rin having a date meant three thing: One, she'd be running around causing stress for all of them until she decided to leave two hours early for her date, often coming back for anything she left-or thought she left-behind. Two, she'd be changing her clothes all day and asking for his opinion, only to dismiss his answer and change again until all but one pair of clothing was on the floor, then she'd run off and leave him to clean up (which he had to or else Meiko would strangle him for making a mess). Three, she would be in the bathroom for **hours. **

The pain in his bladder brought him out of his thoughts, reminding him he needed to go. He turned to quietly rush off to the other bathroom, but Kaito's words stopped him. "If you're thinking about using the other bathroom, then you can forget it."

Len stopped and turned back. "Why?"

"_He's _in there." Meiko said lowly, clearly unhappy about having to wait in line.

"'He?'" Len repeated. He turned pale once it clicked in his mind who she meant. "No. Anyone but him!"

"Afraid so." Luka sighed. "Gakupo will be in there all day."

Whenever Gakupo visited he played games with all of them, but he often uses their shower and uses it all day. Len wondered what he could be doing in there, but he was too scared of the answer to ask. The last time he had done this Meiko had grabbed the door and pulled it off its hinges, throwing it against the wall. She then stomped in there and tried to kill him with the shower curtains.

She would have done that again, if Gakupo hadn't filed an assault charge and had almost gotten her arrested. After some negations, pleading, and some crying on Gakupo's part when Meiko threaten him, he agreed to lift the charge as long as he was allowed to use their shower.

Now Len was forced to wait in the long line with a full bladder instead of being able to rush off to the second bathroom and relive his screaming bladder. He half wished he had voted against the charge being lifted, but quickly shook his head. He would have to find another way into that bathroom. "Kaito," He said, tapping the older man's shoulder, "can I cut in front of you? I have to pee."

"Normally I'd let you, Len, but I have to go too and I've been in line for hours."

"My bladder feels like it's going to explode!"

"Mine too."

Len sighed, knowing there was no chance to convince Kaito. Sometimes Kaito could be stubborn, but it usually showed when it came to ice cream. He looked around Kaito to look at Luka. "Luka, can I-" He stopped when he suddenly found himself in the air. He looked down and saw Meiko was holding him in the air. She had a fistful of his shirt and was glaring at him.

"No cuts." She growled, her voice sounding that of a demons.

Len whimpered, feeling uncomfortable and scared under her stare. "O-ok."

Meiko stared at him for a moment longer before nodding. She dropped him to his feet and took back her spot. Len turned around and headed back to his room.

"Len!" Kaito called. "Where you going? I thought you had to use the bathroom."

"Um, I don't have to go anymore. I think I'll just go to my room and change to my normal clothes." He quickly walked to his room, holding his hands over his crotch, hoping no one would notice his strange walk.


End file.
